Lunch with an Ex

Posted: April 19, 2012 in Friendships, Sex
Tags: ,

I reconnected with an ex from high school recently through Facebook. Last time I saw her was 20 years ago. She had a boyfriend at the time and we were fooling around on the side. It’s funny how I always end up being the “other guy”. So I took off from work the other day to take care of some business …I had to drop off some money to my lawyer. I text her the day before and invite her to lunch. She accepts.

We meet up at my favorite local bar. They have a nice Tiki bar setup outside that I really enjoy during the summer months. So we order drinks and lunch and get to talking. She fills me in on what she’s been doing the past 20 years. She has a live-in boyfriend and a 16 year old daughter from a different guy that passed away a few years back.

I find out that he doesn’t know about our little lunch date. “He woulda got pissed if I told him”, she says. “He’s kind of insecure lately and thinks I’m going to leave him”.

I love female logic. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Ha.

We start chatting with the barmaid a little and ask her where she’s from, how long she’s been working here…etc. Cute Italian girl with long hair to her ass and big Anime eyes.

“She’s pretty cute, you should give her your number”, she says. “Yeah I don’t give girls my number”.  “She can give me hers if she wants”, I said. Then she says, “You should ask her if she has a boyfriend”. So I reply, “I never ask women if they have a boyfriend, there’s a chance they could say yes.” We both laugh.”Are you trying to hook me up with the barmaid ?”, I asked with a smirk. She smiles and says, “Sure why not. I’m good like that!” “Good you can be my wing-girl next time we go out”.

I like warming up the bartenders for the next time I roll in there. She’ll remember me. I’ll ask her to meet up with us for drinks sometime. Number close is implied. NJ is all about social proof and social circle game. Rarely can you go to a bar alone and pick up girls. It’s not impossible. It’s just less likely. Plus I have the perfect story to go with it. She’s my ex from high school and we’re still good friends …Social Proof. Girls eat that up.

It started getting getting a little windy and chilly so she asks if she can wear my jacket. “Sure no problem” “It’s my new cashmere sport coat. It’s nice and warm”.

So 2:15 comes around and I tell her that I have to go. I have to run over to see my lawyer. She asks for the check. I pull out my cash and she says, “I got it”. I didn’t want to let her pay. I’m old fashioned like that. It’s only a few dollars and not a big deal. I invited her out anyway. She goes over the top and hands the barmaid her credit card and picks up the check. “Alright, let me leave the tip”, I say. Done deal.

We walked out together to the parking lot. Just happen to park near each other. She takes off my coat and hands it to me. We say goodbye with nice wet kiss on the lips.

She’s a cool chick and I enjoy her company. I’m pretty sure I can hit it if I can get her alone. We shall see.


Thoughts on Indian Forum Trolls

Posted: February 3, 2012 in Uncategorized

Being an Engineer I tend to work with a lot of Indian guys. The field tends to be full of them.

They’re generally good guys. Very smart, helpful, optimistic and have a good attitude towards

Work and life in general. I have a few that I roll out to lunch with regularly.


They tend to talk about their “culture” a lot. It’s very important to them. They’re very tight with their

Families and communities ….so much that it affects their ability to assimilate into American culture.


Any Indian women that I’ve known tend be genuinely nice girls. They dress conservatively and speak

properly and also have a genuine positive attitude towards life. They’re not singing and dancing in fields

of flowers all day long like you see in Indian movies and music videos …but pretty close.


The problem for Indian guys is they’re very susceptible to the influence of their families. Lots of guilt

and control going on. So much that it’s shameful to date outside of their race and “culture”. This leaves them

in a awkward position. They can either give in to their family ideals and pressure and marry a nice Indian girl

that the family approves of ..or chase after other non-Indian(white) girls and be outcast from their friends

and family. There’s some very old world stuff going on here. So in order to play both sides of the fence like

us guys like to do …they infiltrate places like this forum looking for help on how to bang some hot slutty

non-Indian tail on the sly.


That’s exactly what happened to one guy’s brother. He was banging some slutty white girl on the side and

knocked her up and now it’s a big scandal in his family. Being the good stand up guy that he is …he’s going

to marry her.


This one younger Indian dude I hang out with has some style and swagger. He’s got a girlfriend and banging

like 4 other girls on the side. He’s 23 and a little more Americanized. He’ll probably end up marrying a nice

Indian girl that his family approves of when it’s time. He’s one of the few that actually gets it.


So, …I don’t think Indian dudes are predisposed to be Internet Forum Trolls. I just think that they are typical

sexually frustrated betas. They’ve been so betatized by their “culture” that they can’t help it. They’ve had

any semblance of Game beaten out of them very early on. This tends to be the case with the older guys

from 27-35ish that aren’t married. Try to think of them as sexually frustrated 12 year olds who are just

discovering Game and reaching out for help. So when they lash out and disrupt the forum it’s more of a roid

rage type of thing than any kind of ill-will.


They’re out of their element. They’re venturing out of their “culture” and their game and language skills are lacking.



I just deleted my account for the second time. Or as Facebook calls it …Deactivated. It just means you have six months to log in and continue where you left off before they delete you permanently. I find that I’ve been spending too much time on it lately. It’s too easy to get status updates and notification on my iPhone. I sleep with the damn thing. But you know what? …as much as I and others bitch about it, it has been a useful tool and resource the past few years. I do some traveling here and there for work and pleasure. It’s much easier to keep in touch with people (ahem women) that I meet abroad.

I’ve got a sweet Colombian girl I still talk to in Costa Rica. She sends me coffee once in a while. I don’t think I’ve bought any coffee in the past two years. I also get Christmas cards from Taiwan and England. I didn’t try to be international …it just worked out that way.

I think the best use of Facebook however is for the purpose of Retro-fucking. It’s a phrase coined by a fellow forum enthusiast of mine who calls himself El Mechanico. I’ve knocked off a few girls from my retro-fucklist in the past year thanks to Facebook. It’s not too hard. Just find a girl you’ve known and send her a friend request. You chat with her a little bit. Make her laugh and follow up with an offer to meet up for drinks. Most of these girls are older now and past their prime (18-27) so they’re (not surprisingly ) willing to meet up. Some were married. Some have children. Some are just the same as you remember them. Some are completely different people. Whatever their story is …they’re over thirty and easy pickens for a smooth talking guy like myself who still has all his hair at close to forty.

The married ones are just as cool as the single ones. They’ll offer to introduce you to their single friends. Double score.

So my friend and colleague just deleted his account recently as well. Next thing you know his cellphone is blowing up with text messages. Nobody knew how to reach him outside of Facebook so people were passing messages to him through the trusty old grapevine. Facebook has become such a staple of contemporary life …even more so than cellphones.

I brought up all these topics on a forum that I frequent. I called my Facebook account my “social resume”. I was chastised heavily for that one. Ehh …maybe they’re right. Maybe not. Time will tell.

I’ll talk to you later. I have a million text messages to reply to.


Posted: January 27, 2012 in Life, Sex

Dealing with Restraining Orders

Posted: January 19, 2012 in Life

Shit happens. Bitch called the cops. Here’s what you need to know.

Never give a statement to the police. Hell don’t even say a word to them. It can and will be used against you.

Restraining orders can by filed at a police station and at the civil division of your local county court. She has to go in front of a judge and give testimony on record on what happened and the judge will decide whether to issue a Temporary Restraining Order. She can say anything and get one. Once it is issued it must be served to you by a police officer. She has to take a copy and go to a police station and ask that they serve you with it. It’s in her hands to do so. A TRO is not in effect until you are served in person by a cop.

The order will have a court date where both of you will have to appear before a judge. Usually 1-2 weeks from when the TRO was issued. Both sides tell their story and the judge will either dismiss the TRO or issue a Final Restraining Order. If you’re smart you’ll get a lawyer once you’ve been served with a TRO. You can be forced out of your home and made to keep paying the bills forever if you handle it wrong. Take it seriously. A lawyer usually gets $400 an hour to talk to you and double that for a court appearance. So expect to drop $1200 minimum. Money well spent.

Talk to your lawyer about issues like kids you have together. Being able to call them. Custody schedule. How to handle pick up and drop off. She will use it as a tool to separate you from your kids. It happens everyday.

This is civil court not criminal court so she doesn’t have to prove anything she says. She just has to be convincing. Expect tears, yelling and tons of drama on her part. Cops will coach her on certain keywords to use in order to get a final restraining order. All she has to say is that you touched her or hit her and she felt physical pressure on her arm or face and you’ll be convicted of assault or something similar based on nothing more than her testimony. She doesn’t need to produce pictures or a note from a doctor or emergency room or anything. You’ll have to pay a fine of a few hundred dollars to a women’s shelter and you’ll be fingerprinted like any other criminal.

The judge’s decision is based on preponderance of the evidence and does not have to be proven beyond a reasonable doubt as it would be in criminal court.

Most family court judges in my experience are females and they are old fat angry man haters so the deck is stacked against you.

If you have no kids with her then let it go and move on.


The only way to get over a restraining order and see your kids is to ask the court for a best interest of the child evaluation conducted by a court appointed child psychologist. Cost may differ from state to state. Usually $7500 cash retainer up front. May go over $10k and more plus additional lawyer fees on your part. Process is 4 months to 2 years. At the end the judge makes a decision on who gets the kids. Just like a divorce.

This is all from my personal experience. Feel free to ask any questions.

Guys’ Code

Posted: January 11, 2012 in Friendships, Life

Guys’ Code – The unspoken rules that men live by

1. Bros before Hoes – Never sell out your guy friends and always take their side over some girl you’re fucking.

2. Don’t fight over money with your male friends.

3. Don’t profit off your friends. Hook them up for whatever it costs you. They’ll return the favor with whatever they have access to.

4. Don’t sleep with your friend’s relatives until you at least get the ok from them.

5. Always try to get your friend a better job working with you providing he doesn’t make you look bad.

6. If you happen to sleep with an ex of one of your friends always call him so he hears it from you first.

7. If you and your friend are both interested in the same girl, the one who actually “likes” her gets dibs.
If she’s not interested then she’s fair game.

8. All bets are off if she straight up offers you sex. Your bro should understand and be cool with it.

9. Don’t keep secrets with your guy friends. They should know everything you know about a girl so she can’t manipulate him.

Don’t break the ice

Posted: December 4, 2011 in Love

So I got an invitation to a party from a friend from my old neighborhood. She’s married now to a good guy that I like very much. It was a Saturday afternoon BBQ to a all night drunken party. Ahh I miss High School sometimes.

A few months before this party I ran into an old high school friend/crush of mine. We chatted a little bit and exchanged numbers. So I take this girl out a few times and we’re getting pretty tight again and to me all signs show a decent amount of interest. You don’t want to push girls from your social circle too hard for sex or a relationship because if it backfires you’ll have a lot of gossip and drama on your hands. So slow rolling is the key if you want to keep her around.

So I bring her as my guest/date to this party and we’re all hanging out and drinking and having a good time. We end up on the deck in the back yard talking to a few people. So this one guy is sitting on the wicker loveseat to my left and drops an obviously schmoozing compliment on her right in front of me. So me being the sarcastic and inappropriate person that I am blurt out, “Ohh you like her dude?” and, “You know she’s single.” I felt the need to put him and her on the spot.

She’s sitting on my other side and starts uncontrollably laughing. I follow up with, “She’s cute right?” More laughter ensues. Now I’m starting to gain a small crowd around us. A second girl in earshot turns to me and asks, “Are you two together?” I reply, “No we’re just friends.” She says, “But you have been together in the past right?” I say, “No, just friends.” “She calls me every morning at 6am though.” Her face lit up with a big smile. I ask, “Why …do we give off that vibe?” “Yeah you guys totally do.”, she replies.

So fast forward a little bit … we didn’t really hit it off as I expected. Even after I made her dinner at my place and she made me dinner at her place I just wasn’t feeling the connection that I should have. Funny thing is she asked me to get an apartment with her up in North Jersey.

Now mind you I haven’t slept with this girl and she’s escalating to living together. I wasn’t opposed to the idea really. But I have it in my head that I’ll be living alone until I’m ready to move a girlfriend in. We’re nowhere near that place yet.

So I bring up the question, “Well what are you looking for, a relationship?” She says, “No I’m not really interested in you like that. I just think we get along really well and it would be closer to my work, split the bills blah blah blah.”

I flat out tell her no. I’m not interested in living with anyone unless it’s a girlfriend or wife or whatever. I couldn’t believe she had the nerve to ask me that. I made the mistake up discussing this with a mutual female friend of ours. She says, “Well maybe she likes you but wants to test it out first.” Man you gotta love female logic sometimes. Ha.

So once I figure out that I’m not getting this girl into bed or dating her we start going our separate ways. Not a big deal. I don’t get attached as much as I would have in my youth.

I get a text from her like 6 months later out of the blue inviting me out for drinks. It happens to be a night I was going to be local anyway. So I say sure. Let’s get a few beers and catch up a little. She’s an avid beer snob.

So I pick her up and we’re discussing different bars we can hit. We agree to hit this one place in Belmar. I park down the street and we walk up to the place. I order two Guinesses at the bar and we starting catching up. Halfway through with my beer and she notices a guy across the bar. She goes and says hi to him and they come back together and we shook hands.

Coincidentally he was the guy that I put on the spot almost a year earlier at the party. So we hang out for a few more beers and leave and on the way home I say, “I didn’t know you guys were friends.” She says, “We dated for a few months.” I reply, “When back in high school?” She says, “No after the party you took me to.” “We went out on a double date with another couple we’re both friends with and we dated for 3 months after that.”

Moral of the story …don’t bring girls that you haven’t slept with to social circle parties. Feel free to introduce people to each other but don’t break the ice for them. If they’re interested in someone it’s up to them to do the work and build attraction, get the number, get the date …etc. Don’t do it for them.

Fucking unbelievable.

Fred the Christian

Posted: November 22, 2011 in Friendships, Life

At a previous job I worked with an older Engineer named Fred. He was a nice enough guy. In his 60’s and semi-retired. He had lost a big chunk of his retirement savings when the housing bubble busted. So he was forced to keep working to make ends meet.

Fred liked to tell stories like most men. So when Fred and I were sent out to Pittsburgh for a week for a job, I had the pleasure of hearing a few of his greatest hits.  He told me about his wife and his son that they adopted. They weren’t able to conceive due to his wife being allergic to his sperm. I’ve never heard of such a thing but was interested in the details. He said they spent many thousands of dollars on specialists and laboratory work in order to “clean” his sperm of anything that his wife would be allergic to. But even after all that effort they still couldn’t conceive. So they relented and chose to adopt.

I remember one story about his son very vividly. He had a problem with his large intestine. It was over sized. So when he went to the bathroom the deposit he would leave would be very large in girth and enough to clog the bowl every time. Fred would have to go in after and use a stick or something to cut it up in order for it to flush.

So after a few hours down the road on our way to Pittsburgh, Fred drops his little religious bomb on me and says, “Don’t you believe the bible is the inspired word of god?” Ohh here we go I’m thinking. I’m trapped in his Ford Excursion for another 6 hours and this guy is starting with the religious talk. I was Christened Eastern Orthodox but personally I’m an atheist. So an atheist and a devout Christian are not the two best people to be stuck in a car together for an 8 hour drive.

My response to his statement was, “Well I’m not sure if I believe everything in the bible word for word.” “Whose to say that god and the angels mentioned in the bible weren’t alien visitors from another planet?”

I’m a big fan of Egyptian culture and history. So I told him about the story of Osiris and how and his friends came down from the sky and brought knowledge to the people. Knowledge in the form of math, science and organized agriculture(farming). Osiris was described as being a tall green “being”. When he and his friends came to Earth and landed in Egypt they were worshiped as gods. They were also described as “Men but not men” from the ancient writings.

It’s very hard for devout Christians to be open minded about anything other than their faith. I like to read and learn about all religions and pick and choose the best aspects and apply them to my daily life.

I told Fred about a Catholic friend of mine that was married to her 2nd husband. She told the priest of her church that she didn’t want any children. The priest refused to marry her based on that statement because it was against Catholic ideology. She had to recant her statement a few weeks later and say she wasn’t ready to have kids financially at this time but wanted them in the future. It was a total lie but it convinced the priest to perform the ceremony. Fred was pretty shocked to hear that. I would think the ideology of Christians and Catholics would be pretty similar and most of this stuff would be common knowledge. I guess not.

The more he went on about Christianity and his beliefs the more I felt the need to play devil’s advocate. I held back about a few things though because I felt it would have crossed a line.

I would have loved to tell him that maybe his wife’s inability to conceive was a message from god that they weren’t meant for each other. But I didn’t out of respect for the guy. I’ll debate my point of view as far as I can coming just short of being a complete asshole.

Fred was an honest and hardworking guy who lived by his beliefs and it worked for him. There’s an old saying that I like from Henry David Thoreau “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.”

That’s Fred.