Don’t break the ice

Posted: December 4, 2011 in Love

So I got an invitation to a party from a friend from my old neighborhood. She’s married now to a good guy that I like very much. It was a Saturday afternoon BBQ to a all night drunken party. Ahh I miss High School sometimes.

A few months before this party I ran into an old high school friend/crush of mine. We chatted a little bit and exchanged numbers. So I take this girl out a few times and we’re getting pretty tight again and to me all signs show a decent amount of interest. You don’t want to push girls from your social circle too hard for sex or a relationship because if it backfires you’ll have a lot of gossip and drama on your hands. So slow rolling is the key if you want to keep her around.

So I bring her as my guest/date to this party and we’re all hanging out and drinking and having a good time. We end up on the deck in the back yard talking to a few people. So this one guy is sitting on the wicker loveseat to my left and drops an obviously schmoozing compliment on her right in front of me. So me being the sarcastic and inappropriate person that I am blurt out, “Ohh you like her dude?” and, “You know she’s single.” I felt the need to put him and her on the spot.

She’s sitting on my other side and starts uncontrollably laughing. I follow up with, “She’s cute right?” More laughter ensues. Now I’m starting to gain a small crowd around us. A second girl in earshot turns to me and asks, “Are you two together?” I reply, “No we’re just friends.” She says, “But you have been together in the past right?” I say, “No, just friends.” “She calls me every morning at 6am though.” Her face lit up with a big smile. I ask, “Why …do we give off that vibe?” “Yeah you guys totally do.”, she replies.

So fast forward a little bit … we didn’t really hit it off as I expected. Even after I made her dinner at my place and she made me dinner at her place I just wasn’t feeling the connection that I should have. Funny thing is she asked me to get an apartment with her up in North Jersey.

Now mind you I haven’t slept with this girl and she’s escalating to living together. I wasn’t opposed to the idea really. But I have it in my head that I’ll be living alone until I’m ready to move a girlfriend in. We’re nowhere near that place yet.

So I bring up the question, “Well what are you looking for, a relationship?” She says, “No I’m not really interested in you like that. I just think we get along really well and it would be closer to my work, split the bills blah blah blah.”

I flat out tell her no. I’m not interested in living with anyone unless it’s a girlfriend or wife or whatever. I couldn’t believe she had the nerve to ask me that. I made the mistake up discussing this with a mutual female friend of ours. She says, “Well maybe she likes you but wants to test it out first.” Man you gotta love female logic sometimes. Ha.

So once I figure out that I’m not getting this girl into bed or dating her we start going our separate ways. Not a big deal. I don’t get attached as much as I would have in my youth.

I get a text from her like 6 months later out of the blue inviting me out for drinks. It happens to be a night I was going to be local anyway. So I say sure. Let’s get a few beers and catch up a little. She’s an avid beer snob.

So I pick her up and we’re discussing different bars we can hit. We agree to hit this one place in Belmar. I park down the street and we walk up to the place. I order two Guinesses at the bar and we starting catching up. Halfway through with my beer and she notices a guy across the bar. She goes and says hi to him and they come back together and we shook hands.

Coincidentally he was the guy that I put on the spot almost a year earlier at the party. So we hang out for a few more beers and leave and on the way home I say, “I didn’t know you guys were friends.” She says, “We dated for a few months.” I reply, “When back in high school?” She says, “No after the party you took me to.” “We went out on a double date with another couple we’re both friends with and we dated for 3 months after that.”

Moral of the story …don’t bring girls that you haven’t slept with to social circle parties. Feel free to introduce people to each other but don’t break the ice for them. If they’re interested in someone it’s up to them to do the work and build attraction, get the number, get the date …etc. Don’t do it for them.

Fucking unbelievable.

  1. xalex says:

    Interesting, though a bit too long.

    You could have just wrote:

    There was this girl i had a crush on since Highschool, but she LJBF’d me. Once i tried to AMOG a guy in front of her but he ended up bangin her for the next 3 months.

  2. Jay Cutler says:

    This is a tremendous point. A similar point happened to me but it took reading this post to reach the general principle that you don’t introduce the girl to your buddies unless you’ve banged.

  3. Badger says:

    Shit, I made this mistake with a chick I was working and she married the guy I introduced her to.

    I helped another chick meet her husband but I had zero desire for her so it was all good.

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