Archive for January, 2012

Facebook

Posted: January 27, 2012 in Life, Sex

I just deleted my account for the second time. Or as Facebook calls it …Deactivated. It just means you have six months to log in and continue where you left off before they delete you permanently. I find that I’ve been spending too much time on it lately. It’s too easy to get status updates and notification on my iPhone. I sleep with the damn thing. But you know what? …as much as I and others bitch about it, it has been a useful tool and resource the past few years. I do some traveling here and there for work and pleasure. It’s much easier to keep in touch with people (ahem women) that I meet abroad.

I’ve got a sweet Colombian girl I still talk to in Costa Rica. She sends me coffee once in a while. I don’t think I’ve bought any coffee in the past two years. I also get Christmas cards from Taiwan and England. I didn’t try to be international …it just worked out that way.

I think the best use of Facebook however is for the purpose of Retro-fucking. It’s a phrase coined by a fellow forum enthusiast of mine who calls himself El Mechanico. I’ve knocked off a few girls from my retro-fucklist in the past year thanks to Facebook. It’s not too hard. Just find a girl you’ve known and send her a friend request. You chat with her a little bit. Make her laugh and follow up with an offer to meet up for drinks. Most of these girls are older now and past their prime (18-27) so they’re (not surprisingly ) willing to meet up. Some were married. Some have children. Some are just the same as you remember them. Some are completely different people. Whatever their story is …they’re over thirty and easy pickens for a smooth talking guy like myself who still has all his hair at close to forty.

The married ones are just as cool as the single ones. They’ll offer to introduce you to their single friends. Double score.

So my friend and colleague just deleted his account recently as well. Next thing you know his cellphone is blowing up with text messages. Nobody knew how to reach him outside of Facebook so people were passing messages to him through the trusty old grapevine. Facebook has become such a staple of contemporary life …even more so than cellphones.

I brought up all these topics on a forum that I frequent. I called my Facebook account my “social resume”. I was chastised heavily for that one. Ehh …maybe they’re right. Maybe not. Time will tell.

I’ll talk to you later. I have a million text messages to reply to.

Socio

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Dealing with Restraining Orders

Posted: January 19, 2012 in Life

Shit happens. Bitch called the cops. Here’s what you need to know.

Never give a statement to the police. Hell don’t even say a word to them. It can and will be used against you.

Restraining orders can by filed at a police station and at the civil division of your local county court. She has to go in front of a judge and give testimony on record on what happened and the judge will decide whether to issue a Temporary Restraining Order. She can say anything and get one. Once it is issued it must be served to you by a police officer. She has to take a copy and go to a police station and ask that they serve you with it. It’s in her hands to do so. A TRO is not in effect until you are served in person by a cop.

The order will have a court date where both of you will have to appear before a judge. Usually 1-2 weeks from when the TRO was issued. Both sides tell their story and the judge will either dismiss the TRO or issue a Final Restraining Order. If you’re smart you’ll get a lawyer once you’ve been served with a TRO. You can be forced out of your home and made to keep paying the bills forever if you handle it wrong. Take it seriously. A lawyer usually gets $400 an hour to talk to you and double that for a court appearance. So expect to drop $1200 minimum. Money well spent.

Talk to your lawyer about issues like kids you have together. Being able to call them. Custody schedule. How to handle pick up and drop off. She will use it as a tool to separate you from your kids. It happens everyday.

This is civil court not criminal court so she doesn’t have to prove anything she says. She just has to be convincing. Expect tears, yelling and tons of drama on her part. Cops will coach her on certain keywords to use in order to get a final restraining order. All she has to say is that you touched her or hit her and she felt physical pressure on her arm or face and you’ll be convicted of assault or something similar based on nothing more than her testimony. She doesn’t need to produce pictures or a note from a doctor or emergency room or anything. You’ll have to pay a fine of a few hundred dollars to a women’s shelter and you’ll be fingerprinted like any other criminal.

The judge’s decision is based on preponderance of the evidence and does not have to be proven beyond a reasonable doubt as it would be in criminal court.

Most family court judges in my experience are females and they are old fat angry man haters so the deck is stacked against you.

If you have no kids with her then let it go and move on.

Otherwise…

The only way to get over a restraining order and see your kids is to ask the court for a best interest of the child evaluation conducted by a court appointed child psychologist. Cost may differ from state to state. Usually $7500 cash retainer up front. May go over $10k and more plus additional lawyer fees on your part. Process is 4 months to 2 years. At the end the judge makes a decision on who gets the kids. Just like a divorce.

This is all from my personal experience. Feel free to ask any questions.

Guys’ Code

Posted: January 11, 2012 in Friendships, Life

Guys’ Code – The unspoken rules that men live by

1. Bros before Hoes – Never sell out your guy friends and always take their side over some girl you’re fucking.

2. Don’t fight over money with your male friends.

3. Don’t profit off your friends. Hook them up for whatever it costs you. They’ll return the favor with whatever they have access to.

4. Don’t sleep with your friend’s relatives until you at least get the ok from them.

5. Always try to get your friend a better job working with you providing he doesn’t make you look bad.

6. If you happen to sleep with an ex of one of your friends always call him so he hears it from you first.

7. If you and your friend are both interested in the same girl, the one who actually “likes” her gets dibs.
If she’s not interested then she’s fair game.

8. All bets are off if she straight up offers you sex. Your bro should understand and be cool with it.

9. Don’t keep secrets with your guy friends. They should know everything you know about a girl so she can’t manipulate him.