Dealing with Restraining Orders

Posted: January 19, 2012 in Life

Shit happens. Bitch called the cops. Here’s what you need to know.

Never give a statement to the police. Hell don’t even say a word to them. It can and will be used against you.

Restraining orders can by filed at a police station and at the civil division of your local county court. She has to go in front of a judge and give testimony on record on what happened and the judge will decide whether to issue a Temporary Restraining Order. She can say anything and get one. Once it is issued it must be served to you by a police officer. She has to take a copy and go to a police station and ask that they serve you with it. It’s in her hands to do so. A TRO is not in effect until you are served in person by a cop.

The order will have a court date where both of you will have to appear before a judge. Usually 1-2 weeks from when the TRO was issued. Both sides tell their story and the judge will either dismiss the TRO or issue a Final Restraining Order. If you’re smart you’ll get a lawyer once you’ve been served with a TRO. You can be forced out of your home and made to keep paying the bills forever if you handle it wrong. Take it seriously. A lawyer usually gets $400 an hour to talk to you and double that for a court appearance. So expect to drop $1200 minimum. Money well spent.

Talk to your lawyer about issues like kids you have together. Being able to call them. Custody schedule. How to handle pick up and drop off. She will use it as a tool to separate you from your kids. It happens everyday.

This is civil court not criminal court so she doesn’t have to prove anything she says. She just has to be convincing. Expect tears, yelling and tons of drama on her part. Cops will coach her on certain keywords to use in order to get a final restraining order. All she has to say is that you touched her or hit her and she felt physical pressure on her arm or face and you’ll be convicted of assault or something similar based on nothing more than her testimony. She doesn’t need to produce pictures or a note from a doctor or emergency room or anything. You’ll have to pay a fine of a few hundred dollars to a women’s shelter and you’ll be fingerprinted like any other criminal.

The judge’s decision is based on preponderance of the evidence and does not have to be proven beyond a reasonable doubt as it would be in criminal court.

Most family court judges in my experience are females and they are old fat angry man haters so the deck is stacked against you.

If you have no kids with her then let it go and move on.


The only way to get over a restraining order and see your kids is to ask the court for a best interest of the child evaluation conducted by a court appointed child psychologist. Cost may differ from state to state. Usually $7500 cash retainer up front. May go over $10k and more plus additional lawyer fees on your part. Process is 4 months to 2 years. At the end the judge makes a decision on who gets the kids. Just like a divorce.

This is all from my personal experience. Feel free to ask any questions.

  1. bomboa says:

    Had the same thing happen to me.

    Served with a restraining order while the b*tch was still living in my house. Took my son away too. She hired a feminist nazi of a lawyer to get it all done.

    Her “story” to the judge was that I wasn’t letting her out of the house and had essentially “imprisoned her” against her will.

    I took 20 affidavits from people who had seen her and my son all over town, by themselves, shopping, playing in the park, meeting other people.

    The judge said there was too much evidence to go through and set it for hearing — 2 months later.

    So I couldn’t see my son for 2 months. Finally, when the hearing occurred, I had blown so much money on attorney’s fees that we all just ended up settling on a custody agreement. She gets my son. I see him every 2 weeks. Attorney’s fees of 20k down the drain.

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