Archive for the ‘Friendships’ Category

Lunch with an Ex

Posted: April 19, 2012 in Friendships, Sex
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I reconnected with an ex from high school recently through Facebook. Last time I saw her was 20 years ago. She had a boyfriend at the time and we were fooling around on the side. It’s funny how I always end up being the “other guy”. So I took off from work the other day to take care of some business …I had to drop off some money to my lawyer. I text her the day before and invite her to lunch. She accepts.

We meet up at my favorite local bar. They have a nice Tiki bar setup outside that I really enjoy during the summer months. So we order drinks and lunch and get to talking. She fills me in on what she’s been doing the past 20 years. She has a live-in boyfriend and a 16 year old daughter from a different guy that passed away a few years back.

I find out that he doesn’t know about our little lunch date. “He woulda got pissed if I told him”, she says. “He’s kind of insecure lately and thinks I’m going to leave him”.

I love female logic. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Ha.

We start chatting with the barmaid a little and ask her where she’s from, how long she’s been working here…etc. Cute Italian girl with long hair to her ass and big Anime eyes.

“She’s pretty cute, you should give her your number”, she says. “Yeah I don’t give girls my number”.¬† “She can give me hers if she wants”, I said. Then she says, “You should ask her if she has a boyfriend”. So I reply, “I never ask women if they have a boyfriend, there’s a chance they could say yes.” We both laugh.”Are you trying to hook me up with the barmaid ?”, I asked with a smirk. She smiles and says, “Sure why not. I’m good like that!” “Good you can be my wing-girl next time we go out”.

I like warming up the bartenders for the next time I roll in there. She’ll remember me. I’ll ask her to meet up with us for drinks sometime. Number close is implied. NJ is all about social proof and social circle game. Rarely can you go to a bar alone and pick up girls. It’s not impossible. It’s just less likely. Plus I have the perfect story to go with it. She’s my ex from high school and we’re still good friends¬†…Social Proof. Girls eat that up.

It started getting getting a little windy and chilly so she asks if she can wear my jacket. “Sure no problem” “It’s my new cashmere sport coat. It’s nice and warm”.

So 2:15 comes around and I tell her that I have to go. I have to run over to see my lawyer. She asks for the check. I pull out my cash and she says, “I got it”. I didn’t want to let her pay. I’m old fashioned like that. It’s only a few dollars and not a big deal. I invited her out anyway. She goes over the top and hands the barmaid her credit card and picks up the check. “Alright, let me leave the tip”, I say. Done deal.

We walked out together to the parking lot. Just happen to park near each other. She takes off my coat and hands it to me. We say goodbye with nice wet kiss on the lips.

She’s a cool chick and I enjoy her company. I’m pretty sure I can hit it if I can get her alone. We shall see.

Guys’ Code

Posted: January 11, 2012 in Friendships, Life

Guys’ Code – The unspoken rules that men live by

1. Bros before Hoes – Never sell out your guy friends and always take their side over some girl you’re fucking.

2. Don’t fight over money with your male friends.

3. Don’t profit off your friends. Hook them up for whatever it costs you. They’ll return the favor with whatever they have access to.

4. Don’t sleep with your friend’s relatives until you at least get the ok from them.

5. Always try to get your friend a better job working with you providing he doesn’t make you look bad.

6. If you happen to sleep with an ex of one of your friends always call him so he hears it from you first.

7. If you and your friend are both interested in the same girl, the one who actually “likes” her gets dibs.
If she’s not interested then she’s fair game.

8. All bets are off if she straight up offers you sex. Your bro should understand and be cool with it.

9. Don’t keep secrets with your guy friends. They should know everything you know about a girl so she can’t manipulate him.

Fred the Christian

Posted: November 22, 2011 in Friendships, Life

At a previous job I worked with an older Engineer named Fred. He was a nice enough guy. In his 60’s and semi-retired. He had lost a big chunk of his retirement savings when the housing bubble busted. So he was forced to keep working to make ends meet.

Fred liked to tell stories like most men. So when Fred and I were sent out to Pittsburgh for a week for a job, I had the pleasure of hearing a few of his greatest hits.¬† He told me about his wife and his son that they adopted. They weren’t able to conceive due to his wife being allergic to his sperm. I’ve never heard of such a thing but was interested in the details. He said they spent many thousands of dollars on specialists and laboratory work in order to “clean” his sperm of anything that his wife would be allergic to. But even after all that effort they still couldn’t conceive. So they relented and chose to adopt.

I remember one story about his son very vividly. He had a problem with his large intestine. It was over sized. So when he went to the bathroom the deposit he would leave would be very large in girth and enough to clog the bowl every time. Fred would have to go in after and use a stick or something to cut it up in order for it to flush.

So after a few hours down the road on our way to Pittsburgh, Fred drops his little religious bomb on me and says, “Don’t you believe the bible is the inspired word of god?” Ohh here we go I’m thinking. I’m trapped in his Ford Excursion for another 6 hours and this guy is starting with the religious talk. I was Christened Eastern Orthodox but personally I’m an atheist. So an atheist and a devout Christian are not the two best people to be stuck in a car together for an 8 hour drive.

My response to his statement was, “Well I’m not sure if I believe everything in the bible word for word.” “Whose to say that god and the angels mentioned in the bible weren’t alien visitors from another planet?”

I’m a big fan of Egyptian culture and history. So I told him about the story of Osiris and how and his friends came down from the sky and brought knowledge to the people. Knowledge in the form of math, science and organized agriculture(farming). Osiris was described as being a tall green “being”. When he and his friends came to Earth and landed in Egypt they were worshiped as gods. They were also described as “Men but not men” from the ancient writings.

It’s very hard for devout Christians to be open minded about anything other than their faith. I like to read and learn about all religions and pick and choose the best aspects and apply them to my daily life.

I told Fred about a Catholic friend of mine that was married to her 2nd husband. She told the priest of her church that she didn’t want any children. The priest refused to marry her based on that statement because it was against Catholic ideology. She had to recant her statement a few weeks later and say she wasn’t ready to have kids financially at this time but wanted them in the future. It was a total lie but it convinced the priest to perform the ceremony. Fred was pretty shocked to hear that. I would think the ideology of Christians and Catholics would be pretty similar and most of this stuff would be common knowledge. I guess not.

The more he went on about Christianity and his beliefs the more I felt the need to play devil’s advocate. I held back about a few things though because I felt it would have crossed a line.

I would have loved to tell him that maybe his wife’s inability to conceive was a message from god that they weren’t meant for each other. But I didn’t out of respect for the guy. I’ll debate my point of view as far as I can coming just short of being a complete asshole.

Fred was an honest and hardworking guy who lived by his beliefs and it worked for him. There’s an old saying that I like from Henry David Thoreau “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.”

That’s Fred.